When I was younger I enjoyed life more. I had less, but enjoyed more. I had less responsibilities, less accomplishments, less knowledge, less accumulation of stuff. I really had more. I had more freedom.
I dream of living a simple life. A life in the country, close to a lake. Where I can grow my own food and make my own way. I want time to sit on a porch on a hot summer night. I want to listen to a friend play banjo. I want to make things with my own two hands. All of the things I do now, and the technology I use, make me feel so disconnected from myself. I hate missing myself. I don't care about money, I just want to be happy being me. Right now I am trying to make other people happy. All I accomplish is loss of self.
When do I get to swim in gelatin waves? I miss the sand between my toes. I miss picking daisies. I miss canning jars. I miss time spent laying on the floor in a sun-streaked room. And I miss peaches fresh from the tree. When do I get back to being me?
I think I may scream and throw all of my accomplishments into the wind... just to feel whole again.
No comments:
Post a Comment