another lifetime

I found my old poetry website I had with some friends in high school "A field of frozen daises"
http://www.angelfire.com/indie/afieldoffrozendaisys/poetry.html

here are some of the poems I wrote on it!

Butterfly Tears

I tried to sculpt your portrait,
But I left out the eyes,
The sockets turned to wings,
From a quixotic butterfly.
My intentions started good,
Yet when the coloring was done,
The wings came out like mud,
Not a brightly colored sun.
The turbid pools of glass,
Worked of their own accord,
I tried to mold what I wanted,
But it couldn't be controlled.
When I looked upon your face at last,
I saw the distance that I'd feared,
I lied to myself about who you were,
Now unseen eyes cry unseen tears.

Perfection in Deception

Perfect isn't perfect
Because you're everything I wanted
But not what I need

And perfect isn't perfect
When perfect leaves me void of feeling
Waiting to be freed

Cause sometimes broken just feels right
And I long to fall to jagged pieces
To be shattered glass in flight

Because a vase isn't hollow
When its insides are exposed

And what the hell is beauty
Without a little flaw
A chip, or crack, or something
To make me real and raw

So don't try to glue me back together
You'll be left with a bruised and empty shell
Just let me lay in broken pieces
Scattered on the floor

Because perfect isn't perfect
And if you leave me now, I'll only want you more

A Gift For a Steppenwolf

I gave you a book
To chart out your thoughts
Made of thin pieces of paper
With lines drawn out
I added some pictures
And transferred photographs
So when you opened it up
My eyes would stare back
Then you'd take one long look
And see all that you lacked
You would know who you needed
For your other half
But no, your life is traced out
Along maps from the past
You're a wolf of the Steppes
And we can never go back

Irrational Fear of Nakedness

I cringe when I see him enter
close my eyes and stifle a bought of nervous laughter
I try to remain cool
act like it doesnt phase me
I see him do this all the time, right?
there's nothing vulgar about it, its only natural
God, I really wish it did'nt phase me
I hate being taken by suprise
but, even if I had know what was coming
I would'nt have known how to react
I have lived too much of a sheltered life for that
but it is the life that I chose
I could have made it more difficult,
learned something along the way,
but somehow diliberatly causing difficulty felt like a copout
like my pain would never be as legitimate as everyone else's
and so his naked body caught me off guard
and I sat there
trying to keep from giggling like a school girl
all the while wishing that I was somebody else
as another moment passed me by